by Bill Crossman, posted 5 December 2012
“If it were necessary to give the briefest possible definition of imperialism, we should have to say that imperialism is the monopoly stage of capitalism” – Vladimir Lenin
The dark words of the vilified communist leader come from a time past. Today, see Lenin’s statue, bolstered by stunted guns or frozen flames, in his winter home, in exile in Fremont.
On Friday, December 7th, at 5p, come join a lighter Lenin and his fellow Fremonsters! Mingle with the proletariat and bourgeoisie at the 9th annual Lenin Lighting ceremony!
Or dwell on the dark days of the revolutionary’s past: “The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.” – Vladimir Lenin
Shop Local & End Imperialism of Mega-Stores and Malls
“The way to entertain and delight the bourgeoisie is to light up statues of dead dictators while dancing the Chicken Dance ‘round a fiberglass pole!” – Kirby Lindsay. Lenin will get lit between 5p – 6p, in a celebration hosted by the Fremont Chamber of Commerce, and led by Mistress of Ceremonies, Kirby Lindsay, publisher of Fremocentrist.com
Brothers & sisters of the revolution are also invited to celebrate the Fremont “Fesitvus, For the Rest of Us.” Gather ‘round the traditional Fremont Festivus pole, in the shadow of Lenin! Take part in the airing of grievances. Bring yours! You’ve got to have at least one. According to lore, feats of strength and Festivus miracles could also occur.
Vilify him if you dare, but don’t miss out on this chance to join legions taking pictures of this 8-ton statue with a brightly lit 12-point star strapped to his head. Enjoy the freedoms of a post-industrial, politically stagnant era, on December 7th, while pondering Lenin’s existence…and maybe slurping gelato at Royal Grinders.
Join today’s Lenin in Fremont, where he might shout ‘Будем здоровы!’ (which can be translated as ‘To our health!’) with Fremont Mischief Vodka. Or the bloated-looking bronze bureaucrat might whine ‘Does this statue make me look fat?’
For The Rest Of Us
An old joke: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA? Sure! In the U.S.A., you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, “Down with Regan!”, and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, “Down with Reagan!”, and you will not be punished.
The December 7th, 2012 Lenin Lighting & Fremont Festivus celebration will go easy on the old jokes, but not the live holiday polka music provided by the Fremont Philharmonic (“Come crush the 1% with a strictly proletariat polka!” – Kirby Lindsay) Also enjoy a visit by a Fremont Santa, and treats from Peet’s and Pie!
All these festivities are free, and family friendly, at the foot of the formerly fierce and formidable Soviet leader. Also free, and following the Festivus festivities, enjoy the Fremont First Friday Art Walk with a dozen galleries, restaurants and venues open from 6p – 9p. On December 7th, at the Saturn Building, the FFF will also host a special Holiday Bazaar! For more details on the FFF, stop by Lenin between 5p – 6p and/or check the website.
“It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.” – Vladimir Lenin
“It is true that Fremont is fun, and so much fun that you must bring your friends and family and any friendly strangers you meet on your way, so the fun can expand and grow, until it causes a grin to burst from Lenin’s bronze mug!” – Kirby Lindsay
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©2012 Kirby Lindsay. This column is protected by intellectual property laws, including U.S. copyright laws. Reproduction, adaptation or distribution without permission is prohibited.